The fact that Mike Brown was MORE than 130 feet away from Officer Darren Wilson when he was shot –NOT the less-than 35 feet as told in MSM–should have been all the evidence necessary to indict Wilson for murder. What more can I say? The higher percentage of whites making the decision, in an area that is nearly 70% black, predisposes the possibility of any true Justice in a majority white jury.
Right now I feel ashamed of my skin tone. I am outraged that yet another so-called “Peace Officer” has gotten away with murdering an unarmed black man. I’m so angry I’m still shaking from the injustice of it all. I’m so angry that I’ve come here to vent.
Before I say anything else, however, I need to admit something about myself that is very important for you to know about me:
I am a Racist.
Yes. I said it. And, it’s true. How could I not be anything other than a Racist, when my entire life has been steeped in it and shaped by it? It is in my cultural DNA. It’s in yours, too. We can’t escape it. I really don’t care how many professional trainings or workshops you have attended on “Tolerance” in your work place, nor how many People of Color you call your Friend. If you have ever used the phrase, “I am not a Racist, because…” then you, too, are a Racist like me.
This doesn’t mean I believe that we are powerless to make a difference. Far from it! There is a lot that white people can do to diminish the effects of racism. But, the first thing we must do is acknowledge that our social DNA has been conditioned to be Racist, as a fact.
Once we recognize that our entire society is structured on the concept of racial Supremacy, with Whites holding all the power, we can then see the possibility that our own beliefs were raised in it, formed by it, conditioned for it. That kind of awareness makes it possible to see ourselves more clearly. We start seeing the role we are still playing in maintaining it.
That’s not all, of course. There is more –and this is the really hard part– we must each accept, and admit it! We must admit that we, too, are Racists (Yes, out loud, with the actual words. No hiding it in shame, or mumbling it to the back of your deaf grandmother). Yet, not even this is enough. Someone else has to actually hear it being said, in order to really let the truth solidify.
From there, if we truly want to change the paradigm, it is a matter of active, ever-vigilant awareness of our actions towards, and thoughts about, People of Color (or anything that is different from “us”) or different matters of racial. Further, there must be willingness to question those thoughts and actions, if we jtruly want to alter them. Only then will we be ready to make better choices; choices that could free us from this divisive racial conditioning.
I guess it’s like a 12-step program:
- I admit that I am powerless over the fact that I am Racist, and that being Racist causes harm to people who do not look like me, and to myself.
- I will believe that my Higher Conscious Self can guide me to making the changes necessary for helping our society heal from the effects of Racism.
- I use my Higher Conscious Self Awareness to see and hear my actions and thoughts that perpetuate Racist values, in order to break free from the social conditioning.
- I take ownership of my past Racist thoughts and deeds, too, so that I might not engage in racially ignorant, insulting, or harmful behavior any longer.
- I share my Self-Awareness of Racism with others, and will take an active role in raising the Awareness of the effects of Racism with others, so that they, too, may choose to help END RACISM.
Ok, only five steps for now. It’s a start, at least.
There is so much more I’d like to say, but to be honest, right now I am still so overwhelmed with disgust, and my thoughts are far too jumbled for me to pull a cohesive string of thoughts beyond this (is it cohesive?). I just needed to get it started. Believe me, there is plenty of editing to come, and I am sure to adding more stories on this topic in the near future. Until then, Dear Readers, I bid you ….
Your considerate thoughts and ideas are appreciated.